20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.

19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.

18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one
side.

17. Too difficult to "mark" every web site they visit.

16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've
Got Mail."

15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're brow-
sing www.pethouse.com instead of working.

13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.

12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.

11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies
tail-wagging.

10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Micro-
soft Opposable Thumb.

9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome

8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...

7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recog-
nition software.

6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.

5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of
the question!

4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.

3. Annoyed by lack of news groups, alt.pictures.master's.leg.

2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online
chat rooms.

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...

1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. *

( * 1. Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws. )